so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
