i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
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i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
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seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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