Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
