Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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