Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
stop calling my apartment porn island.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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