I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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