So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
