dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
