I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
