who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Randomize
