people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
