Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
