too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Randomize
