I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
