After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
