batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
me + whiskey = a bad person
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
