i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
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