Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize