I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
