do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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