Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
