Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
