Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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