I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Randomize