guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
