Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
