If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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