yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
