i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
