ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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