Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
