hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize
