i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
