No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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