so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
