I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
