If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
