Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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