Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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