is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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