JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Of course I have a pirate flag
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
