I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
