Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
