I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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