I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
