Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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