He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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