We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I could fuck to npr.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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