Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize
