Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
