You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
