I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
