ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
