Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
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