suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
