I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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