i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
there's paper in my vomit.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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