So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
