im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
